My Descent through Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome

Right now, at this moment in time, I... should be writing my alternative English assessment. I can assure you I am past the point of shame and horror of the fact that it's already two days late. I am so tired. I am so apathetic about finding scholarly evidence to prove that my opinions on this book are relevant and worth two cents. Honestly, this paper could have been done on time had I not needed to scrounge the internet for whatever it is about which I'm writing. I didn't even bother to go to the library or even buy some books off of amazon, so I've been flipping through previews of books on google and picking out the longest quotes I can in order to fill up these pages. Man.. I should get back to work. This needs to be finished. Actually, at 4 pm today I told myself if I finished by 10 pm I could have icecream. 

It is 10:15 and we are out of clean bowls. All the more reason to fall into a deep, absymal sorrow.